Nurse: Have you been to West Africa?
Me: Last week.
Nurse: Have you had a fever?
Me: Yes. Wait! Let me explain!
I think she stopped breathing at one point. Because I did go to West Africa and I did come back sick with a fever and other symptoms that are similar to Ebola. But what I had was treatable with antibiotics and it would so mess up my life to be quarantined for 21 days to make sure I don't have a disease that I was never exposed to and couldn't have. I mean, 21 days on my own with room service and total freedom from The Dog does sound not too bad, but once I found out that poor nurse in New Jersey didn't have a shower, quarantine lost most of its appeal.
I'm too tired to type any more, so here is a picture of an African chicken.