Saturday, November 15, 2014

The Bluebird of Paradise

So my computer is dying. Really dying. It's so bad that it won't stay connected to the internet for more than five minutes and after that, I have to restart it to get connected again. So I have been computerless and therefore not blogging. Husband said that I could use the iMac which is the children's computer, but it is all the way upstairs. On the third floor! That's like 15 steps! I'm way, way too tired in the evenings to walk up all those stairs, so instead of blogging, I've been binge watching Scandal instead. But now I've convinced Child 2 that she needs to let me use the laptop that she is not using because her school issued her a MacBook which is Child 1's old laptop because we have never taken it to China and it works just fine.

So here is what happened. We were all set to go to the brown bird post. I was resigned to a very difficult move to a place that would sort of work, but we would be together, so it would be alright. And then, miraculously, for the first time ever since I joined the Department, something amazing happened. The blue bird of paradise flew in and landed on my shoulder. And stayed there! We got handshakes on India! New Delhi, and I am thrilled. So thrilled! I have always wanted to live in India. Who wouldn't want to live in a place that looks like this?


Or where this happens.


Or this!


And this!

I might be a little obsessed with elephants. But I have always wanted to live in a country with elephants, especially if that country is India. So here we go! Child 1 is thrilled, Child 2 is resigned, and Child 3 is convinced that we have ruined her life! And nothing will ever be the same again! And the school in New Delhi doesn't even give grades! WE ARE RUINING HER LIFE! FOREVER! Except she still wants to go on a tiger safari while riding an elephant. But other than that, her life is ruined. So if anyone wants a ruined 12 year old to come stay for a while, please let me know because I'm not sure how many pairs of pants I will need to buy her before she is unruined. I'm guessing the 4 I got her today might not do it, so I threw in a couple of sweaters for good measure, too.

Chocolate chip cookie dough is almost better than a brownie. Sometimes, I used to make the batter, bake up half, and then just eat the rest. Cookie dough ice cream was a brilliant invention, and if I could eat wheat, or chocolate, or dairy, I would have some right now. Finding a thief in your house eating your cookie dough is not better than a brownie. The nice woman whose house he was in called the cops but didn't press charges. But I totally would have! I don't mind if my friends eat cookies in front of me, but I am telling all the thieves right now that if you come into my house and eat cookies, or dough, or candy, then the best thing that could happen would be that you go to jail. I won't be held responsible for what Child 1 will do to you if you eat her chocolate before she gets home from Hawaii. You have been warned. Child 3, kindly, says that you may have her chili pepper flavored lollipop that she bought today thinking it was cherry. We don't care about that.

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