Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Are you sure that's not a dinosaur?

So the thing about tropical islands is that they come with bugs. Big bugs. Huge. Really, the largest roach I have ever seen in my life died on my windowsill. I used my traditional method of dealing with bugs which is to completely ignore that they are there. Once, when Husband was away at that Place That We Don't Speak Of, I killed a spider with a shoe and left the shoe on the spider. One of the children asked me why was my shoe in the middle of the floor, which I swear was the only time she has EVER noticed something in the middle of the floor, and I said it was hiding a dead spider. And she asked me if I was going to clean up the spider and I said no and I didn't. Somebody eventually vacuumed up that spider, but it was not me. So when the roach expired on my window sill, I did not clean it up, and my new old friend "Eileen" told her daughter who promptly cleaned up the roach because she is a bug disposer as well as a bug killer. This is what the roach looked like. Keep in mind that it was almost as big as my hand. Eileen's daughter is extremely brave.

I have to explain about Eileen. She is a friend from when Child 1 was small. Eileen's daughter "Bonnie" and Child 1 have birthdays two days apart and we celebrated them together. Then she moved to West Virginia and we moved to Asia and I haven't seen her in about 13 years. So when we discovered that Bonnie was also going to attend the same school as Child 1, Eileen offered to rent a house with me close to the school, so we did and it was so, so very much fun that now I am plotting ways to get to West Virginia to hang out with her more often.

So the other thing that happened is that Child 1 made me get on Instagram. Apparently, the cool kids no longer hang out on facebook because that is for moms. Instead, they take photos and put them on Instagram and compete for likes. So Child 1 helped me sign up for an account and then took my phone from me and liked all of her photos. Because that is apparently the only reason mothers should have Instagram accounts--so they can like all of their daughter's photos. Oh, and I also discovered Child 3 has an Instagram because Google+ suggested I follow her on it. Oops! So that's another good reason for moms to be up on technology or how else could we check up on our children?

So I know you are all wondering how bidding is going and the answer is I don't want to talk about it. I hate bidding worse than ever. OK, I don't want to talk about it but I do want to rant a little. This is how bad bidding is and how ridiculous it has become: I am targeting active war zones and countries with horrifying epidemics because I think that might give me a better chance at finding a job. So anywhere that is in the news because something horrible is happening, that is where I'm submitting a bid. War zone? Great. Ebola? Even better. War zone AND Ebola? That's my top choice! And the saddest thing of all is that I'm apparently not the only one with this strategy because all those places have about 100 bidders each so I'm still out of luck.

You know what is also better than a brownie? Pineapple gummy bears. I love you Dole Plantation gift shop!

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