Tuesday, October 22, 2013

More sleep would be better

Today someone offered me an oreo and when I told her I was allergic to both chocolate and wheat, she almost cried. Most women seem to get it. When you tell a man you are allergic to chocolate, he says things like . . . . or oh or there's no chocolate in baseball! When you tell a woman, she says, I think I would want to kill myself. Or that is the worst possible thing to be allergic to. Or Noooooooo! There are still some people who don't get it. I am not friends with these kind of people because we have nothing in common at all. These are the ones who say things like I never really cared for chocolate so I wouldn't miss it. Or you should try carob--I have this great vegan carob cookie recipe. Or there is always white chocolate.

First, let me reiterate that there is no substitute for chocolate. You can make a gingersnap cookie with rice flour and if you put enough ginger in it, it won't taste like rice. But there is no such thing as "chocolate flavoring" without actual chocolate in it. And carob is not chocolate. It will never be chocolate and if you want it to be chocolate, it will fail you miserably. I know because I keep trying it over and over wishing it would somehow turn into chocolate, but it doesn't. This is a picture of carob. Does it look like chocolate to you? No. I thought so and it tastes exactly like it looks--completely icky and not chocolaty in the least.

Also, I can't eat white chocolate either, but I think that is because it always has milk in it. Oh, I also can't eat cheese now either or any dairy products including ice cream and milk shakes. So my only vice left is Fritos, and if someday I turn out to be allergic to those, too, I might just end it all. Now, I'm trying to think if salami and mashed potatoes would be an OK lunch because that is all we have in the house to eat that isn't full of dairy and I'm so very tired of eating rice for lunch. I ate rice pretty much at every meal in Africa and I am a little sick of it but it is the only thing I can be sure doesn't have wheat in it, so I will probably have it for lunch again tomorrow. Unless I can sneak in the kitchen and steal the last of the roast beef. Maybe if I go to bed now, I can be up before everyone else and the roast beef will be mine--all mine! (Maniacal laugh.)

Singing Katy Perry songs with kids at a children's hospital is better than a brownie. Every child needs a chance to roar and how awesome is it that these kids were able to be in a music video? And that girl in the purple T has got moves!


  1. No. There *is* no substitute for a brownie. The sad, sordid melancholy truth. But... in a world with Star Trek, daughters, husbands (usually), and maple candy, there's some hope for survival...



  2. CHaD is part of my local hospital; my mom used to work for the outpatient side of pediatrics there, and I worked/volunteered at the hospital in addition to getting all my care there. Plus that's where my mom had her successful brain surgery last year, so I am pretty biased. I am so glad you featured this awesome video :-).