Thursday, September 5, 2013

Pass, pass, fail, what?

I am graded at my job every day. No. I don't mean that the Department has suddenly started giving people scores for how they do their job, although that would be nice because I am an over achiever and that isn't showing up in my EERs. No, I am getting graded on how I wash my hands. By the bathroom sink. Seriously. I know you are wondering just how a bathroom sink can give you a grade, and actually, it doesn't but it will tell you if you pass and therefore everything else is a fail.

See, we have fancy new remodeled bathrooms and they have these high tech faucets that flash words at you while you wash your hands. First, they flash "H2 O" because apparently there aren't enough letters to spell out "water." Then after 10 seconds or so, it flashes "SO AP" and no I don't know why there is a space in the middle. Then it starts counting seconds and when it gets to 15, it flashes H2 O again and you have to quickly stick your hands under the faucet and rinse them for 10 seconds so it will flash PA SS. Otherwise you fail and it starts all over again with H2 O. And here is the sad thing about my life: Not only did I wash my hands over and over again to try to figure out why the faucet was flashing words at me, now that I know it is grading me, I try to make it pass me every time. Yes. I need approval from a faucet.

This picture is better than a brownie. It's a real photograph, I believe, and not a photoshop job.

View image on Twitter

I can only assume she wore the gloves to threaten the photographer. He had better get the picture right or she was going to use those gloves on him so help her! And I bet he told her they wouldn't be in the frame. But I'm only guessing. Maybe she was a famous widow boxer. Or maybe they were her late husband's gloves and she liked the way they smelled of him. Clearly I need sleep because I am losing it.

No comments:

Post a Comment